I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
