im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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