True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
