i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
