wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize