apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
