she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
