i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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