ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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