So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Randomize
