i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i out mim tonsoeep
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