come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
