he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
