just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
