i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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