How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she smelled like a LAN party
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
