I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
