Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
