Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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