That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
