so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
