Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What drink are we having for lunch?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
