OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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