dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
