Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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