i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
