hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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