you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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