I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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