I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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