I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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