she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
