my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize