at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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