just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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