I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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