we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
