The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize