I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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