You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
