I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
