I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
