No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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