I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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