Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize