i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
