Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
