I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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