Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Banned from zoo.
Again?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
