uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
