Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
