yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
