I don't think brook has ever known best
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
