woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pants are for mortals
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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