Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
