just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
