Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
