You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
