why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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