If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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