in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
