drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
