I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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