CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
