at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
