Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
