there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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