I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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