Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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