This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
