I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
