Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
